McDonald’s Qatar: The McRoyale

The McRoyale, in Qatar (and other Middle Eastern countries) is a 1/3 lb beef patty, sesame bun, ketchup and mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion. It’s the closest thing McDonald’s offers to a real hamburger. The way I see it, there are two kinds of hamburgers–real hamburgers, and fast-food hamburgers. Hardee’s offers something pretty close to a real hamburger, and it works for them, because God knows nothing else was working for them. For the other chain restaurants, and McDonald’s in particular, their offerings are simply not real hamburgers. That’s okay–they’re still delicious. But they need to recognize that people like them because of what they are, not in spite of what they are. (This is how Burger King has gone so far wrong with the liquid smoke flavoring.) Honestly, the McRoyale is okay. But if I wanted an authentic hamburger, I’d wouldn’t go fast food. I wanted a McDonald’s hamburger, and instead I got an imitation of a real hamburger. It’s the international version of the Steakhouse Burger line that they were (or, yikes, are) selling domestically. Better to stick to the classic items.

McDonald’s Egypt: The Chicken Big Mac

From Egypt, the Chicken Big Mac. I’d expected great things from Egyptian McDonald’s (Lamburger?), but it’s a pretty standard menu. The most unique item is the McArabia, but it’s the same thing as the Greek Mac that I had in Russia, only marketed under a different name.

They did, however, offer the Chicken Big Mac, which is exactly what it appears to be. Take a Big Mac, trade the 1/8 lb beef patties for McChicken patties, and trade the special sauce of mayonnaise. I’d love to tell you more, but it’s basically a bigger, better McChicken. One thing I’ll say for it–the slight crunch of the McChicken patty fits nicely with the softness of the middle bun.  I never understood the middle bun in the Big Mac, but here, it works.

McDonald’s Russia: The Greek Mac

This may not have gotten much publicity in the west, but the Russian government responded to US/EU sanctions with sanctions of their own. They banned the importation of food products from the US and Europe. This puts pressures on Russia’s pro-western “café culture”, Eastern European economies, and, most importantly, western multi-national chains like McDonald’s.

Then Putin went a step further and had health authorities make an example of Moscow McDonald’s locations under the guise of sanitary concerns. (McDonald’s in other countries are cleaner than hospital operating rooms, for the record). Thus for the second consecutive country, McDonald’s has become a hard to find commodity. I understand there’s a war on, but for God’s sake, this is just cruel.

I finally managed to find an open McDonald’s in Yekaterinburg. They offer a pretty straightforward US menu, with two exceptions: the Greek Mac and Brie Bites. I had to go twice. The first time I ordered a Greek Mac and Brie Bites, and got a Big Mac and fries. The second time I ordered a Greek Mac and Brie Bites, and got a Greek Mac and Brie Bites.

The Greek Mac is two Big Mac patties with iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and tsatziki served in a pita pocket. It’s not that complex of a flavor. The tomatoes are a nice touch and the tsatziki is good, but it’s no special sauce. The pita is messier and more unwieldy than the normal Big Mac bun. And a hint of Greek seasoning on the beef patties would go along way. It’s no Big Mac, but it’s still better than anything you’ll find at Burger King.

The Brie Bites are what we call cheesesticks in the US, but in the shape of triangles. In the US, you’ll occasionally hear complaints that we can’t get real brie because of USDA food safety concerns. Maybe we shouldn’t take our fake-brie for granted. If what they call “brie” here is even a dairy product, I’m Boris Yeltsin.

The 3-Meat Whopper

From the Philippines, I head to Indonesia. It’s the world’s largest Muslim country, and, consequently, pork isn’t widely available. (I have my issues with some of the things done in the name of Islam, to be sure, but the whole swine prohibition is simply unacceptable.) The Philippines, on the other hand, is the Mecca of swine, er, or something. So I thought it best to make hay while the sun shines, if you will. This eating binge started with Pork Cordon Bleu (2 kinds of swine) and finished with the 3-meat Whopper (2 more kinds of swine).

The 3-meat Whopper is uncomplicated. It’s simply a Whopper, plus bacon, plus pepperoni, of all things. It wasn’t great by any stretch, but was surprisingly not bad–believe it or not, the spiciness of the pepperoni blends in pretty well. It and the bacon help to cover up the liquid smoke flavor that otherwise characterizes Burger King hamburgers. It served it’s purpose–going pork-free for a couple of weeks no longer seems so impossible.

McDonald’s Philippines: The McDo

McDonald’s in the Philippines offers something called the McDo. (that’s a long o, not a long u). I’ve been a little disappointed recently, because I expect McDonald’s to have stranger offerings. I don’t know what the name means, but it costs about 65 cents. It’s the most minimalistic of any McDonald’s sandwich, consisting, in it’s entirety, of a hamburger patty, bun, and McDo sauce. The McDo sauce is the sauce from the Big ‘n Tasty–it’s sort of similar to Big Mac sauce (essentially Thousand Island/Russian dressing–ketchup, mayo, relish), except I think there’s a hint of onion in lieu of pickle relish. The hint of onion makes it almost more like a White Castle burger than a McDonald’s burger–which is to say, it’s still delicious.

They also offer McSpaghetti here, which I’ve not yes had a chance to try, so standby for that one.

McDonald’s: Tangy Filet O’Fish and Smoky Wings

The McDonald’s menu in Singapore is pretty much the standard menu, with a couple of not-so-interesting variations.

In addition to the filet o’fish (an underrated sandwich to begin with), they offer a tangy filet o’fish. It’s identical except for the sauce–on the tangy sandwich, the tartar sauce has some sort of chile added, giving it a red tint. The tang is subtle, not at all overwhelming, and could probably be slightly more pronounced. Oddly, the tang that is there has a hint of wasabi. The filet o’fish still isn’t the best thing on the menu, but this could just be the update that it needs.

They also offer smoky wings here. These are the McWings, but baked instead of fried. There’s only a small amount of sauce, so while they’re not dry, they aren’t exactly wet either. The sauce tastes like (and probably is) liquid smoke, which is to say it tastes like Burger King, which is to say it’s pretty delicious.

McDonalds’s: Samurai Pork Burger

I’ve long maintained that McDonald’s has never sold anything that wasn’t delicious, and that their failed items were a result of them being not quite delicious enough. (Yes, I was and am a fan of the Arch Deluxe. And while I’m not the biggest yogurt and fruit guy, theirs is damn good.) I’m putting this theory to the test in the international market by exploring some of the more exotic menu items.

The food at McDonald’s here isn’t that strange, but I kept seeing a couple of menu items that I wanted to try.

First was something called the Samurai Pork Burger. It’s prepared like a McChicken, with bun, shredded lettuce, and mayonnaise. The pork itself is grilled and served with some sort of sauce that’s like a thick and somewhat tasteless teriyaki. And it tastes as it seems, like a teriyaki pork McChicken–which is to say, excellent.

I also ordered a gingko/taro pie. The filling is a strangely bright purple substance, but otherwise the pie is just as at home. This one is harder to describe–it’s like a less sweet and more starchy version of the McDonald’s pie back home, with the slight impression that the filling was sourced from a chemical plant–a really, really delicious chemical plant.

So far, the theory holds.

Asian Cuisine

A couple of people have asked how, given that SE Asian food is the best in the world, the top 5 meals haven’t been updated. The answer is that I tired of writing about what I’m eating all the time, and I’m sure others tired of reading about it. The top 5 also changed pretty rapidly here, so here’s an update. Going forward, I’ll only mention particularly noteworthy meals, except for keeping you posted on the offerings at McDonald’s around the world.

The best thing I’ve had, which I mentioned in a prior post, was Cambodian Fish Amok (or a mouk).

A close second is what the Vietnamese call cha ca. It’s marinated freshwater fish chunks with herbs, and you pan fry it yourself over a tableside frame. I would describe it in more detail, but the New York Times does a much better job:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/30/dining/cha-ca-la-vong-a-dish-inspired-by-a-dive-in-hanoi.html?_r=0

 

 

Ceviche at La Perla in Cartagena

I finally got it right. La Perla is not a ceviche restaurant, but they have it, and I’d heard it’s good. It’s more reasonably priced than the better-known cevicherias, at about $10/per.

I first had the Ceviche de Peru, a simple dish, but done the way that ceviche should be done. Sea bass, lime juice, cilantro and dill, and thin sliced red onion are the basis. The sea bass was less “cooked” than customary, but for the better. The innovation here is the inclusion of roasted corn, which adds a bit of umami. It was crisp, light, well-balanced, and delicious.

My next dish was the Ceviche con Amarillo. This is basically the same as above, with a couple of changes. Shrimp replaces sea bass. I normally avoid shrimp because it becomes unfresh more quickly than white fish, but in this case it was perfectly fresh, and so was an improvement. It also included amarillo pepper sauce in with the lime juice, which added mild spiciness, like good ceviche should have.  The difference here is that by using sauce instead of raw diced chiles, the spice was perfectly uniform. That, combined with the corn, makes this the best ceviche I’ve had. I literally ate the remaining lime/pepper juice with a spoon. Lima will have a tough act to follow.

My shining moment–I managed to order a proper champagne cocktail in Spanish.

Street Ceviche in Cartagena

 After my failed attempt at fine dining at El Boliche, I went in search of street ceviche for lunch. I found it at the entrance to Getsemani, just outside the main gate to Cartagena’s old city (El Centro).

It’s more of a shrimp cocktail than ceviche, but a damn good shrimp cocktail. You pick the size of the Styrofoam cup, and they add shrimp, or, in my case, shrimp and fish. On top goes finely diced red onions, lime juice, a couple of dashes of various liqueurs, ketchup, and a bit of mayonnaise. It’s all mixed together, and served.

It wasn’t particularly cheap–almost $7 for a medium–but it was really tasty.

It also proves the old adage that street food is always better. If you want evidence of this, go buy yourself a $10 hot dog from Spike Mendelssohn on Capitol Hill, and $8 half smoke from Ben’s Chili Bowl on U St, and the daily lunch special (2 hot dogs, chips, and soda for $4.50) from Ahmed on the corner of the 12th and G, chili, mustard, and onions only. It’s not just that the street dogs are better value, they’re better tasting.

Ceviche at El Boliche in Cartagena

According to the local buzz, El Boliche has unseated La Cevicheria (made famous by Anthony Bourdain) as the go-to spot for ceviche in Cartagena. It also happens to be next to my hostel.

I had the Ceviche con Tamarind, their specialty. It wasn’t cheap, almost $20, and they only serve whole bottles of wine and microbrews. Their dearth of a drink selection notwithstanding, the ceviche isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It includes shrimp, calamari, and octopus, along with some lime, herbs, the customary plantain chip, and an overwhelming amount of tamarind sauce. They also added a great deal of sugar, I’m guessing to temper the tamarind, but it ruined the dish.

Wood-Grilled Trout in Guatape

We had grilled trout for lunch in Guatape. It was la bomba. Basically, they scale and gut the trout, flay it, and grill it. They put that straight on the plate, and we asked for some more of a tomato-onion-garlic topping that is otherwise served with unsweet plantains. The onions are the lower (white) parts of scallions, and are common and awesome.

Here’s proof that what I described really is the only preparation that goes into the mix.

This is easily the second best meal so far, second only to the Bogota tamale.

Arepas Con Queso on the Street in Guatape

These are pretty straightforward–arepas chock-full of white cheese, grilled on the flattop with butter, and a drizzle of condensed milk on the top. The cheese is incredible, and it otherwise tastes exactly as it sounds–delicious, so much so that we went twice in one day. One of the best things I’ve ever had.

Medellin-style Soups in, You Guessed it, Medellin

We had soups for lunch on the 31st, at Mondongo’s in La Paloma, Medellin.

First, to give credit where credit’s due, the hot sauce was included among the condiments already on the table when you sit down.

Secondly, for a country that isn’t strong in soups (unlike, say, Mexico or Vietnam), this place makes a decent soup.

We had a couple of soups, including one with chicken, hot and sweet peppers, and coriander, with sides of rice, mini-arenas, avocado, banana, and limon. It was hearty and flavorful, not too heavy and not too light.

We also had an Antiquioan (the region of which Medellin is the capital) Authentic Soup, which was essentially bean soup with pork, but done properly this time. Not the best soup I’ve ever had, but far and away the best bean soup, for what it’s worth.

In both cases, the hot sauce was a necessary but delicious additive.

Somehow we also ended up with a couple of plates of finely ground beef, rice, sweet plantains, chicharron (fried pig backfat, basically superbacon), a steamed potato, and an egg. I confess to having no idea what on the table was what, but the food was good.

They have 3 locations, two in Medellin and one in Miami, in Doral. If you’re in Miami, it’s worth a trip.